Mythology Week: Corrupt a prayer

[Wymondham]

Based on the famous reddit game "corrupt a wish" - corrupt the prayer the poster above you makes by turning it into something awful then post your own
Eg:
I pray for World Peace
Response: Your prayer is granted - everyone is dead
I pray for everything I touch to turn to gold.
etc etc.
I will start - I pray for unlimited tea

[Helperness]

Your Prayer is granted - All the Air is now Tea Leaves.

I pray for everyone to have enough food.

[Dragonian Alliance]

Granted. Sets off Yellowstone eruption and puts Helperness in a fully stocked vault tec bunker. Now all the people who are left should have enough.

I pray that I will win the lottery

[Aqual]

Your prayer is granted: you, along with tens of thousands of other competitors, finally break the years-long unlucky streak where no one had gotten the matching ticket. Thanks to the multitrillion international dollar value of the ticket divided between all of the many winners, the extreme amount of people who find themselves suddenly rich leads to a rapid hyperinflation and devaluation of all currencies worldwide. It becomes so extreme that not even the wealthiest 1% can afford to buy basic necessities, and virtually all of humanity perishes in the ensuing days and weeks as a result.

I pray that the Osiran book publishing industry shall surpass all others.

[Dragonian Alliance]

Your Prayer is Granted. Every person in Osiris successfully publishes a book. The resulting spike in publicity cause nation states to experience massive serve lag. Everyone is angry and unable to do anything.

I pray that my mummy and daddy give me a puppy.

[Helperness]

Your prayer has been granted. The Puppy you recieve grows into a large dog that ends up mauling you and both parents to death.

I prayer for a peaceful sleep tonight.

[Skies]

Your prayer is granted! You're now in a Sleeping Beauty situation, and won't wake up for at least a hundred more years.

I pray for winter to come sooner.

[Tethys 13]

Your prayer is granted, but you get three in a row accompanied by terrible wars and then Ragnarok begins.

I pray that the flora and fauna of the ocean be protected from pollution and over-fishing.

[Dragonian Alliance]

Your prayer is granted, the entire ocean with its flora and fauna is teleported into space around Saturn III (Tethys the Moon), away from any pollutants and fishing boats. The world subsequent spirals into chaos as the majority of its water has disappeared. The ocean soon freezes because space, or atleast turns into a ball of ice.

I pray that my cold goes away soon.

[Ikania]

Your prayer is granted, the entire ocean with its flora and fauna is teleported into space around Saturn III (Tethys the Moon), away from any pollutants and fishing boats. The world subsequent spirals into chaos as the majority of its water has disappeared. The ocean soon freezes because space, or atleast turns into a ball of ice.

I pray that my cold goes away soon.

The LORD has answered your prayer, and your cold has gone away! Unfortunately, the LORD has seen fit to smite you for your hubris, and gave you leprosy, so now you have no nose from which to seneze.

I pray for the protection of the world from atomic hellfire and the passage of global nuclear proliferation treaties.