Second GRA April Update

[joe bobs]

Global Right Alliance News
Second April Update Hello from the GRA!

The GRA was founded in 2005 and refounded in 2007, with our population peak in 2010 at over 500 nations. We are a founding member of the FRA. We are known for our political innovation, including the infamous 'rotatorship' (rotating dictatorship), and also for our "unique" character. We're so badass, sometimes we don't pierce the lid when we microwave stuff. That's right.

In the immortal words of Jonewest, 'f*ck common courtesy, this is the GRA.'

Lazarus GRAvaded!



No, the GRA hasn't gone invader, this is a GRAvasion. Regular readers will recall the promotion of GRA junkets recently, and the first took place last week in Lazarus, with many GRAers in attendance. Of particular note was Sovereign Liberties ability to be banned within a few hours of joining, and Old Zertaxia's rapid manipulation of the fledgling socialist economy to become the wealthiest person in the region.

Future junkets are planned in Texas, 10,000 Islands and United Kingdom. If any other region is crazy enough to host us, then please contact Foreign Affairs Minister Joe Bobs.

Political Parties Storm the Region



In recent weeks, the GRA has seen the relaunch of the political party system. The GRA has seen many different types of parties over the years, some focusing on real world issues, some on in-game issues. So far two parties (was three, we'll come to that later) have been launched, Joe Bobs and Sovereign Liberties have formed the Cosmopolitan People's Party, which believes in establishing legislation and an extensive foreign policy, whilst Old Zertaxia and Uropa have formed the GRA Centrist and Traditionalist Party, which believes laws should be created as edicts of the Speaker, and a more restricted foreign policy. All citizens can sign up to a party or create their own!

Aura Hyperia told where they can stick it



Aura Hyperia, renowned douches of the NationStates world, have this month had relations with the GRA severed. The GRA had initially been interested in pursuing a war on The Black Riders with Aura Hyperia, however, this was before certain facts came to light. Namely, that this is the Emperor of Aura Hyperia, Mara Sargon:

[GIF of monkey urinating into its own mouth has been removed - Todd]

Mara posted Aura Hyperia's manifesto in their GRA embassy, several pages of poorly written social Darwinist claptrap, that in parts was far worse than some sentiments expressed by invaders such as TBR. The GRA quickly responded, Uropa brought down the banhammer with a mighty swing, and now the former Aura Hyperia embassy has become a meme spam thread. We don't archive our enemies' embassies, we turn them into public urinals.

People's Assembly Cracks Down on Spies


Remember, keep mum, she's not so dumb! Careless talk costs lives!

The People's Assembly is currently examining legislation to prosecute those accused of spying or treason, a delicate balance of protecting the region and restraining authority. Alongside this, the People's Assembly is drafting a Judicial Law, which will allow the Assembly to act as a court, all citizens to act as the jury, and an elected Foreperson for each trial.

Joe Bobs Promoted


Joe Bobs addresses the Cabinet.

Joe Bobs has been appointed to First Minister by Speaker Old Zertaxia. Joe Bobs' will continue to serve as Foreign Affairs Minister, but will also aid the Speaker with other executive duties, allowing the Speaker to focus on the legislative and judicial offices. He will be working closely with Internal Affairs Minister Sovereign Liberties.

Zarnack on Trial

Last week, a newbie by the name of Zarnack found his way to the GRA, and quickly irritated the old guard by not listening to anyone's advice, making hyperbolic political generalisations, and being super serious - these are no-nos in the GRA. He then posted a load of crap on the RMB (later claiming this was the action of his "brother") and then founded his own region with a lot of puppets he claims are real people. He founded a political party which has now been closed. He particularly enraged GRAers by stating on the IRC: 'guys, don't treat me like a noob, treat me like I'm one of you, just don't be mean.' This left GRAers confused and unable to respond to the contradictory statement. He now stands trial for attempting to recruit from the region.

GRADF Kick Invaders from Warzone Africa



The GRADF have successfully detagged Warzone Africa, removing the TBR flag, closing their embassy, and getting rid of their general lameness. When asked to comment, First Lieutenant Joe Bobs simply lifted his kilt and bared his buttocks to the invaders.

OMAHD Bar a Hotbed of Debate


How political debate works in the GRA...

The OMAHD Bar has been a hotbed of political debate this week, with subjects such as colonialism, Catholicism, Egypt, science, film and the Confederate flag. Views have ranged from sissy liberal hippie (Joe Bobs) to Rhodesian native crushing (Northern Chittowa) to gun-toting Southern hick (Sovereign Liberties) to freedom squashing political correctness (Jonewest). Everyone is welcome to have their say in the OMAHD bar, just don't expect anyone to go easy on you...

Joe Bobs: GRA History Nerd

Joe Bobs has continued to publish (in serial form) the History of the GRA. Currently the Foreword and Parts I and II of Chapter 1 are available for your enjoyment, Part III to follow in the nest week or two.

Spam Fight!

Internal Affairs Minister Sovereign Liberties has launched Spam Game Teams, which sees the region divided into two spam-happy teams, the Dancing Ice Hawks and Whipped Servant Boys, and a point scoring system introduced to all spam games. All are welcome to join!

GRA Theme Tune

To the tune of the theme music from Cheers:

Making your way in the GRA takes everything you got.
Getting away from Uropa, sure would help a lot.

Maybe Jonewest called you lame...

By now you oughta know,

Welcome to the GRA!
Where everyone's a fucking pain!

You wanna be in the land of Old Z,
who thinks they're all cray-cray.
You wanna be where there's never a word for 'flame'.

You wanna be with a bunch of APDs,
Where noobs end up the same.
You want to be where they'll pretend to forgeeeet... your name
du du du du duuuuh

Finally, the GRA maintains its eternal war against Falconias.

In the words of Old Zertaxia, you all cray-cray.

Written by Joe Bobs. With thanks for contributions from Sovereign Liberties, fighter4u, Jonewest and Old Zertaxia.

[Cormac]

Thank you for the update. As a note, the gif involving the monkey was removed by one of our administrators as inappropriate for this forum and potentially a violation of the Zetaboards Terms of Use. We appreciate your understanding in that regard.

Nonetheless, I got a pretty good laugh from the rest of this update. It sounds like GRA is doing well. Congratulations on your promotion to First Minister.

[joe bobs]

I've made my feelings on Todd's reaction known elsewhere so I won't repeat myself and kick up more fuss here.

Cormac, would you be happy for to quote you on 'Nonetheless, I got a pretty good laugh from the rest of this update.' I'm doing a piece on comments to our updates.

[Cormac]

Sure, that's no problem.