Osiris Fraternal Order

You do. You are now the proud owner of chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, crabs, scabies, hepatitis B, HIV, Trichomoniasis, Ureaplasma infection, HPV, and more. To be an STI master is your destiny!

I wish I were delegate of Osiris.

Granted, but you are overthrown in a coup next update.

I wish I could come up with a better wish.

Granted but you die of a terrible disease.

I wish I had multicoloured hair.

Granted, but you get cancer and the chemotherapy makes you lose your hair.

I wish I could be more politically correct about cancer.

Granted but you become Hillary Clinton.

I wish I had my own RL nation state.

Granted, but it falls because you probably don't know a thing about economics.

I wish I could stop spamming.

Granted but your fingers fall off.

I wish I could swim the Pacific Ocean with one breath.

Granted, but this takes place in an alternate universe where the Pacific is just a drop of water so it's no extraordinary achievement.

I wish I could be better at corrupting wishes.

Granted but you are to good, to good.

I wish I had more time to spam.

Granted but that's the only thing you do. Ever.

I wish I procrastinated less.