Osiris Fraternal Order

Granted. I hope you like cyanide cake

I wish I had a penny

Granted, but all the rest of your money has been stolen and the penny is all that's left.

I wish it actually felt like spring.

Granted. The temperature passes through springlike levels as Earth falls into the sun.

I wish it would snow here in the South.

Granted, but everyone crashes their cars because y'all don't know how to drive in snow

I wish it would stop being so hot up North

Your wish is granted, the earth moves far away from the sun and everything freezes

I wish I had an army of attack Walruses

Granted, but they have staged a coup and the horde of walruses are besieging your gates.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted, but they're in an outdated currency

I wish I cared about this

Granted, but now you're obsessive compulsively checking this topic every minute and a half and you can't get anything else done.

I wish it would stop raining.

Granted, now it's hailing

I wish I stopped caring

You stop caring. You also stop eating and bathing. You slowly wither away but, honestly, you aren't bothered by it.


I wish I could banject Mikeswill.