Osiris Fraternal Order

Granted, but a side effect of the sleeping pills is extreme ugliness and hungriness.

I wish for a kangaroo.

Granted. It's a boxing kangaroo and you lost the match.

I wish for a flag.

Granted. It's the North Korean flag and you're actually just about to be executed.

I wish for a phone.

Granted. You dropped it and it smashed. Bloody iPhones.

I wish for a crown.

Granted. But they were actually the Crown Jewels and you were arrested and given a life sentence.

I wish for a Lego set.

Granted. It's in the form of a chair. No prizes guessing what you get when you sit on it.

I wish for a DVD of The Hollow Crown.

Granted. But the video makes Shakespeare come back from the dead with a vendetta against you/the BBC.

YOU DIDN'T MAKE A WISH!

I wish I was eternally on my 666th post.

Granted, but now the Devil stole your soul.

I wish for another amen

Granted. But the genie didn't know what you were on about.

I wish for a house.