Osiris Fraternal Order

Granted. Every end of each October in the year ghosts come out and prey on the living. Those ghosts are DoS players.

I wish for a hill.

Granted. The hill is actually a volcano.

I wish for a cat

Granted. It's being held by a shirtless man: you can look, but you can't touch the cat.

I wish for a Pepsi.

Granted. The Pepsi bottle contains black vinegar.

I wish for Shia LaBeouf.

Granted. You wish for him, but you just get his voice in your head saying: "Just DOOOOOO it!"

I wish for a box fort.

Granted, but the boxes, but you must pay property taxes on the fort.

I wish for a kitten.

Granted. It's an angry bobcat kitten

I wish for Festavo as Phez

Granted. He sits on your head and he's 120 pounds.

I wish for a cup of tea.

Granted. You're on the Heart of Gold, and it is a liquid almost, but not quite unlike tea.

I wish for a blue alien

Granted. You get taken away in its flying saucer and probed without any memory of the alien or the abduction.

I wish I wasn't so tired anymore!