It is with great disdain that I reluctantly volunteer myself for the cumbersome punishment of being your Pharaoh.
Do not rejoice just yet my minion, unfortunately this is a democracy (yuck!) and whilst I know you can't wait to be ruled over by me, we must wait until I crush my unworthy opponents in a ruthless and merciless campaign of rainbow unicorns, mouth watering ice-cream and heavenly fairy floss.
I will soon endeavour the laborious task of authoring a brilliant campaign speech which will cement in your little pea-shaped minds why it is in your family's and your best interest to vote for me
Until then, take joy in the knowledge that it is but a few days until my victory!
As the benevolent dictator that I am, I have decided to give you a taste of life under my totally fabulous rule. You're welcome.
Written with much hate,
The Right Honourable Admiral General Stewie Griffin
