Osiris Fraternal Order

Welcome to our Osiris Issues Contest!
The goal of this contest is for citizens to dip their toes into writing issues gameside, without the pressure of actually writing issues gameside, ......initially at least. Hopefully we can learn how to create issues and have fun while doing it! Thank you to ISSUES MAN ( Aka: Occam#5664 ) for suggesting this event and jointly hosting it!

Guide:
Contest will run: Feb. 1st - Feb. 28th
A winner will be announced: March 1st
Each are encouraged to pursue their submissions gameside!
Have fun!

Hey! Welcome to OsirIssues! I'm your host!

If you don't know how to write an issue, here's a handy-dandy guide written by Senior Issues Editor Candlewhisper Archive: https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopi ... #p32581709

Be sure to post your issue here before February 25th! After this is over, you are encouraged to post your issue on the "Got Issues?" subforum on NS for professional drafting. After a while, you can submit it.

Here's the criteria you will be graded on for this contest:

You will be scored from a scale of 1-25. The 5 criteria used are Premise, Formatting, Characterization, Digestibility, and Humor.

Premise: Does your issue have a good topic? The premise of an issue is what it's based around. If you don't have a premise that's good, your issue won't be good. If you make the same premise as an existing issue, that's an automatic 0 in this category. Avoid that with this list of all published issues: https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88

Formatting: Is your issue arranged correctly? Issues need to have a description, at least 3 arguments, and effect lines for each argument (these mustn't have periods or capital letters, this is important).

Characterization: Does every speaker in your issue sound like a distinct person? Everyone in your issue needs to feel unique, like they have a life outside the text. This is the tiebreaker criteria, if two people tie for first, the person with higher characterization wins.

Digestibility: Could someone easily deduce the premise of your issue? Remember that there are children that play this game. If someone has to perform 3 levels of metatextual analysis to get the gist of your issue, you're doing it wrong.

Humor: Is your issue funny? I know a lot of you are decently funny people, so you should have no issue (get it?) with this one. issues need to be somewhat funny to make it fun to answer them, so put some goofs and gaffs in there.

That's all! Contact my discord if you need more info.

I bid you adieu!

Title: Backroom Bankers Back Bringing Kickbacks Back

Description: @@NAME@@ has become a beacon of integrity across @@REGION@@, with scarcely a whiff of corruption in its government halls. However, it has quietly been brought to your attention that many in the international and financial communities are reluctant to make deals with @@NAME@@ for that very reason.

Validity: Nations with high integrity/low corruption.

Option 1: “Y’know, it’s just how things are done,” @@RANDOMNAME@@, a representative of one of Bigtopia’s largest banks, explains with an expression of almost sincere regret. “It is part of the system. Tryin’ to stand above it’ll just leave you isolated.” @@HE@@ places a case of extremely expensive cigars on your desk. “Better when everyone sees eye to eye.”
Effect: government officials’ palms are noticeably greasier than usual.

Option 2: “Absolutely not!” @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your anti-corruption officials, shouts as @@HE@@ stops just short of throwing the cigars into the fire. “@@NAME@@ is renowned worldwide for its integrity. It is more than a policy, it is a moral imperative! Maybe some won’t want to make deals with us for it, but in that case, they aren’t worth making deals with!” @@HE@@ then realises @@HE@@ is still holding the cigars, and looks around awkwardly for somewhere to put them down without spoiling @@HIS@@ point.
Effect: an official was recently arrested for lending a visiting dignitary a @@CURRENCY@@ for a vending machine.

Option 3: “Of course we should keep these fine buildings free from such sorry affairs,” @@RANDOMNAME@@ from @@NAMEINITIALS@@BC puts in, smoothly taking the box of cigars and slipping them nonchalantly into a pocket. “However, we do not want to offend our neighbours either. Allow the financial sector to shoulder that burden. You can continue to police yourselves here and maintain our nation's sterling reputation, while we will handle those unpleasant tasks that keep the world running. You need not even know it is happening.”
Effect: government officials profess ignorance regarding the growing fleet of bankers’ luxury yachts.

Ok, so there was a time once when I did try to write an issue. As I recall tho, it was considered to be too silly to be workable in the game, so...I guess I might as well recycle it here, lol.

[title]An Alliterative Ailment

While munching on some marmalade this morning, you were perfectly puzzled and perplexed to find that, at some point in the night, a strange and surprising sickness had somehow secured a stranglehold over @@NAME@@, causing all denizens, diplomats, and do-gooders to speak in an alluring, albeit tiring, alliteration.

1. “This abysmal ailment is absolutely abhorrent” remarks your minister of defense. “What would one do with such a whimsical way of wording? We must minimize the magnitude of our memoranda to circumvent this silly situation. Sure….it….may….be….slow,.....but…..what….is…..the….alternative?”

[effect] Fast-talking @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ speak a mile an hour.

2. Just as you were about to take a sip of tea, your minister of education, being on high alert for any potential educational opportunities, promptly burst through your window. “Every year, our onerous offspring are failing, fumbling, and falling-short of our educational goals. We could truncate the tragedy of this terrible turn-of-events by taking time to voraciously instill a very verbose national vocabulary, consequently clearing communication for our countrymen and cracking this conundrum, without resorting to remedial relations”.

[effect] The verbose @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ vocabulary is very vexing for visitors.

3. Having heard the hubbub, your nephew passes you a piece of paper, apparently deciding to weigh in on the matter. It reads: “Are you kidding me @@LEADER@@? Have you heard how these people talk? There is no way we could possibly learn to communicate effectively on any reasonable time-frame! It’s time to ABANDON spoken language altogether! The only way we can effectively communicate is through written language. Mandate that everyone carries something to write with at all times, and outlaw verbal communication”.

[effect] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are oblivious to sarcasm.

4. Clearly concerned about the cause of the crisis, the most prominent @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ psychiatrist, Dr. Drake DeGroot, sends you a sloppily written slice of stationary, which says: "@@LEADER@@, do you realize the potential scientific advancements that this alliterative mania holds for the international community? Psychological epidemics are so rare that they are some of the most under-researched topics in all of modern psychology! Please, we must put more funding towards researching the causes of this outbreak and treating the currently known cases. With these breakthroughs, our scientific program could be the star of @@REGION@@! Oh, and a little psychotherapy never hurt anybody, right?"

[effect] Scientists scrutinize studies and seek stardom while citizens search for psychiatric support.

Congratulations to BB for winning this contest!