Osiris Fraternal Order

RULES:
Tell us what NK would do in the situation. Give the next poster a scenario.

EXAMPLE:
Person 1: Syb openly admits that he's being seeing another father on the side.
Person 2: NK doesn't remember who Syb is. Where am I again? How did I get here?
NK comes home to see someone sitting in his armchair.
Person 3: They must be couped. There is no other option.
All of the Guardians resign their WAs and disappear at once.

To start you off...
TGW come to NK in earnest and try to convince him to have Osiris go fenda.

NK makes TGW Osiris's protectorate.

NK wants to sleep but can't.

He starts telling himself his own stories of NS exploits gone by; he's out like a light within 10 minutes.

NK is having internet issues.

NK takes a nap. What even is the internet, anyway?

There's a userite infestation in Osiris.

NK whips out a flamethrower and roasts them all

NK steps down from his thrown just to suddenly remember he hasn't worn pants the entire time

NK shrugs steps down with real swagger. All the girls swoon.

There's an infestation of small birds in NK's house.

NK would purge them all

NK wants a McRib

NK goes to one of those McDonalds locations in the middle of the night, sneaks through the roof, and does some badass martial arts trick to steal it, and dramatically walks out into the night.

North Korea threatens NK for stealing "NK" from them.

NK purges them all

Alt mistakenly steps on NK's foot

NK calls her his favorite grandchild and banjects Ady instead.

NK catches Nee glittering his cookie jar.