Arda Episode IX: The Last Update April 2107
A New Age DawnsIn recent elections, Lil La Luna was elected as Consul of the Interior, Consul of Culture and Consul of Foreign Affairs. This came as a surprise, with established Consulate members such as Akillian Talleyrand, Rhaegar Riket and Aynia losing their positions, every one of them not gaining a single vote. Someone mentioned electoral fraud, but they haven’t been active in Arda since, they probably realised how silly that comment was and are too ashamed to show their faces. I mean face. It was only one person. Obviously. Lil La Luna also won two Senate spots, the other three being filled by her pet goat, Sacul Astoria, and Akillian Talleyrand. She also managed to secure the Tribune seat without any opposition worthy of mentioning. Everyone seems very pleased with God Empress La Luna's landslide victory. No one, especially no the authors of this update, have anything negative to say at all on the subject.
The WallThe new Senate’s first order of business was to discuss the Wall Act (2017), Senator La Luna’s eternal electoral promise. With three votes in favour, it passed the Senate, and construction of the Wall will be commenced forthwith. Once the wall is in place, no new members will be allowed to join Arda - nor old ones be allowed to leave - without an extensive vetting process. This also means that ambassadors will most likely no longer be able to leave Arda to distribute updates, which is why it has been decided not to write anymore after this one, making this The Last Update. Senators Talleyrand and Astoria did not approve of this new government policy, but have been charged with slander by Tribune La Luna, and impeachment will likely follow. More on that in our next upda- oh, right. You'll have to visit if you want to find out mo- of yeah. Well, you'll probably never know Talleyrand and Astoria's fate!
The Lilquisition Spreads Fire of RighteousnessSince God Empress La Luna's crowning... uhm... Consul La Luna's democratically elected victory, the Lilquisition has been busy. They have been spreading the word of the Hreat Prophet JAzzy around the region, invadi- visiting stores and households all over the region. So far heretical items from the List of Abominations Unto JAzzy have been found in all visited establishments, and all items have been dealt with using Purifying Flame. As well as the owners of said items, of course. All heretic temples and cathedrals have been demolished. The region is more heresy-free than ever, and that has been achieved in only a couple of days time! Once the Religious Freedoms Act (2016) Amendment has passed the Senate, the Lilquisition will be able to deal with heretics even more efficiently.
NEWSFLASHES- Pants to be banned in all of Arda.
- The Hreat Library torched, all records have been eradicated.
- Political Parties Act will ban all parties outside of AUoCWSE if it passes the Senate.
- All government business has been moved into the Spam Citadel, which has been placed at the top of the board.
