[Proposal] Eighth Amendment to the Legal Code of the OFO

Sygian · Post by **Sygian** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 12:33 pm

I would like to propose the following amendment. If you would like to make any suggestions, please say so in this thread or on Discord.

Eighth Amendment to the Legal Code of the Osiris Fraternal Order Section One: Amendment to the Legal Code of the Osiris Fraternal Order

(1) The following will be amended into the Legal Code of the Osiris Fraternal Order as Article I, Section 3(4)

Amendment Text wrote:(4) Citizenship applications will automatically be rejected to residents who have applied for citizenship while simultaneously participated in a proscribed region or organization following a 72 hour grace period in which the resident may end participation in the proscribed region or organization.

Fedele · Post by **Fedele** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 12:42 pm

The word "automatically" is problematic here. This means that it happens de facto and that it requires no affirmative action on the part of someone with the executive authority to complete the action. It needs to specify who will take the action.

Otherwise, for example, the 72 hour grace period is potentially a facade. If a person joins a proscribed region, perhaps unknowingly, and participates in it for five days, the legal argument could (and should) be made with this wording that, upon discovering the issue on day five, their grace period has expired and their citizenship has been revoked.

I would also like to see it specified that the 72 hour grace period begins at the time of discovery.

My recommended text:

(3) Citizenship will be revoked by the Pharaoh or next in command from any citizen discovered to be participating in a proscribed region or organization, following a 72 hour grace period to begin at the point of discovered participation in the proscribed region in which the citizen may end participation in the proscribed region or organization and thereby retain their citizenship in Osiris. Citizenship applications submitted by residents who participate in a proscribed region or organization at the time of their application will be rejected by the Pharaoh or next in command following a 72 hour grace period to begin at the time of their application in which time the resident may end participation in the proscribed region or organization and be eligible to have their application considered.

I would encourage anyone to refine that.

Post by **Weast Jurmany** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:51 pm

Fedele wrote:Fri Dec 30, 2016 5:42 pmThe word "automatically" is problematic here. This means that it happens de facto and that it requires no affirmative action on the part of someone with the executive authority to complete the action. It needs to specify who will take the action.

Otherwise, for example, the 72 hour grace period is potentially a facade. If a person joins a proscribed region, perhaps unknowingly, and participates in it for five days, the legal argument could (and should) be made with this wording that, upon discovering the issue on day five, their grace period has expired and their citizenship has been revoked.

I would also like to see it specified that the 72 hour grace period begins at the time of discovery.

My recommended text:

(3) Citizenship will be revoked by the Pharaoh or next in command from any citizen discovered to be participating in a proscribed region or organization, following a 72 hour grace period to begin at the point of discovered participation in the proscribed region in which the citizen may end participation in the proscribed region or organization and thereby retain their citizenship in Osiris. Citizenship applications submitted by residents who participate in a proscribed region or organization at the time of their application will be rejected by the Pharaoh or next in command following a 72 hour grace period to begin at the time of their application in which time the resident may end participation in the proscribed region or organization and be eligible to have their application considered.
I would encourage anyone to refine that.

I support Fedele's changes to the amendment. Having said that, I do think Sygian's changes were already an improvement. Good job you two!

Sygian · Post by **Sygian** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:05 pm

I agree with Fedele's proposed changes, thank you.

Would it be a good idea to split it in the middle and add a subsection (4) to read:

(4) Citizenship applications submitted by residents who participate in a proscribed region or organization at the time of their application will be rejected by the Pharaoh or next in command following a 72 hour grace period to begin at the time of their application in which time the resident may end participation in the proscribed region or organization and be eligible to have their application considered.

This would just make it less jumbled up. Do you agree?

Cormac · Post by **Cormac** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 5:29 pm

These are probably sensible changes, and I agree with splitting it up into two clauses to make it less jumbled up. I was about to suggest that as I was reading through until I saw it already suggested.

Sygian · Post by **Sygian** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 6:48 pm

Cormac wrote:Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:29 pmThese are probably sensible changes, and I agree with splitting it up into two clauses to make it less jumbled up. I was about to suggest that as I was reading through until I saw it already suggested.

I have updated the OP to separate the two clauses.

Wymondham · Post by **Wymondham** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:22 am

I motion to vote

Treize Dreizehn · Post by **Treize Dreizehn** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:29 pm

This reads wonky. Suggesting a wording change. Something like...

(4) Citizenship applications from any applicant participating in a proscribed region and/or organization may not be accepted or rejected within 72 hours of their creation. Such applications may be accepted only if the applicant ends their participation in the proscribed regions and/or organizations within 72 hours of the application's creation.